Toilets have simple jobs. They sit around all day, then when some­body needs to they come and defec­ate in them, and the toi­let swal­lows it up. As jobs go, it’s hardly the most excit­ing, but surely more inter­est­ing than that of a basin or kettle.

Sometimes, the toilet’s job just isn’t enough excite­ment for a toi­let, and it decides to revolt. In the case of my toi­let yes­ter­day, it decided to express its rebel­lion by slowly filling its bowl up to and bey­ond the point where the water over­flows onto the floor. What a fuck­ing bastard.